Haikus – August 2015

In our new garden,
The grass looks slightly greener.
I could just be wrong.

Now jaded and sad
Gilded with gold and rich gems
Still worthless inside

What fun is waiting
When you can have it right now
Use Amazon Prime

Story of my life
Moving in one direction
Away from my dreams

And they break my heart
Chisel inside to steal gems
They’re already robbed

They’re already robbed
Of the words they want to say
Burnt dictionaries

Burnt dictionaries
Fallen library bookshelves
Crumbled safe haven

Minding my business
In the business of my mind
Busy bees buzzing

We walk together
Until our paths parts and then
We walk alone, sad.

Sit and stay a while
You might find some peacefulness
Or perhaps you won’t

Do freely forgive
This free-form structure is quite
Restricting in words

Restricting in words
But can still eloquently
Convey true meaning

Safely make it through
My shadow bids thee adieu
Left me without you

Suspended sweetly
Vanilla creamer swirling
Latte flower art

Night’s sleep quite restless
Knights fighting to stay asleep
Night mares stampede through

Haikus – July 2015

End this misery
Leave no trace of existence
Throw it all away

Bears are in the woods
and bees are in the meadows
What’s in my mind, fluff?

Which we yearn to be
What is my identity?
Set these facades free

Smell some roses too
Try to bottle their essence
Now its life is gone

Then Phoenix rises
Blazing molten majesty
Brighter than the sun

As day goes to night
Cover you with a blanket
Sweet dreams, rest in peace.

The heart bleeds always
Drenched in liquored misery
Nothing stops the flow

Drowning in sorrow
Seems like there’s no tomorrow
Time, can I borrow?

Talk to someone else
Whisper, whisper, pass it on
Gossip spreads like fire

Crying for the lost.
No matter how much we pray,
they will not return.

Flow for loved ones lost
Heavy clouds release their weight
Drown all sounds with rain

Drown all sounds with rain
So that I won’t hear the pain
Slipping down the drain

Flimsy umbrellas
Bloom wherever the wind blows
Bright yellow flowers

Haikus – June 2015

Trying to deceive
My brain into believing
What’s real or perceived?

What’s real or perceived?
Nothing matters anyway
Never can achieve

Sometimes it still hurts
No matter what words you say
Can’t wish pain away

Check your sources well
Make sure that it’s not just from
Wikipedia

Disappointment reigns
Let’s form a clever scheme to
Overthrow the throne

She is still worth it
Even with dark depression
Need to show her light

One, patiently waits
Two, trying too hard to fix you
Three, out of chances

Three, out of chances
Four, ever trying to change
Five minutes too late

Five minutes too late
Six vehicles piled up
Seven dead people

Seven dead people
Eight a poisonous dinner
Nine is close to none

Nine is close to none
Ten-sion in the entire room
No one wants to help

Into the abyss
Sing of pain and misery
Echoes in the walls

Shadows may condemn
Silhouettes whisper my name
Beckon me to hell

Shallow mirages
Reality in deserts
Bring the oasis

Live on in the mind
Rejuvenate these dull orbs
Breathe color to life

Breathe color to life
Blowing bubble memories
Forever floating

Forever floating
Drift along in solitude
Passing by the days

Passing by the days
Counting sheep until no end
Where’s velocity?

Onto her last hope
Toss a coin in the fountain
Pray it will come true

Perspective on life
If you spell “devil” backwards
You get the word “lived”

I would like a clue
Got a bad case of the blues
Hire Sherlock Holmes

Haikus – May 2015

Take it as a sign
From heavenly skies above
Raindrops on my skin

Swimming in the sea
With waves crashing wild and free
No one can find me

No one can find me
Send messages in bottles
Awaiting reply

It is as it is.
Whisper words of wisdom,
Let it be, be, be.

Betwixt a doomed moon
Shattered fragments of light fall
Illuminating

Sparking at my feet
A chain reaction sets my
tender heart aglow

Please show me the way
Wind gently nudges me to
Take a step forward

Life is a seesaw
Up one moment, down the next
No perfect balance

Hiding in the dark
Lonesome feelings buried deep
Putting on a mask

Putting on a mask
It’s a colorful charade
Pretend masquerade

It’s the game we play
You don’t get a second chance
Choose your cards wisely

Either way it burns
Catching flames so sinister
In the spit it turns

There is no escape
Tried to look for exit signs
Trapped inside this maze

Sleep forevermore
Under blankets of flowers
Rest in peace my friend

Once upon a time
We had a dream of freedom
Relinquish these chains

Food is everywhere
Ketchup all over the walls
Messy aftermath

Moonlight, waves, water
She’s the girl of the deep sea
Sinking dark below

It might just come true
How I long to see your face
Shining with bright hope

We truly miss out
When we rush around nonstop
Enjoy this moment

Nothing ever lasts
Wither away to ashes
Surrounded by dust

Never can go back
To the way it used to be
It was just a dream

Of the cracked and vile
Skeletons twist crooked grins
Ready to feast flesh

Forced to coexist
Symbiosis, Yin and Yang
In the end it’s dark

In the end it’s dark
Overwhelming emotions
Depression consumes

I want to move out
Suffocating in these walls
Almost no more air

Does that place exist?
It shines with such a bright hope
Alas, it’s a lie.

Must leave those behind
Let them drown in their own pain
Don’t pause to glance back

Don’t pause to glance back
You must live with your mistakes
The court ruled “guilty”

Of the cruelty
There is no greater sin than
Turning a blind eye

Under the carpet
There is no magical ride
A half-dead world sleeps

Behind a black rock
Lies mysteries of untold
Grief and misery

The place of deep growth
Dark seaweed and leery fish
Underwater life

Somewhere in this void
Perhaps I will find myself
Grasping components

In a cold cruel world,
Where am I? Frankly my dear,
I don’t give a damn

What the heck happened?
The entire pot is burned!
Time to start from scratch.

Haikus – April 2015

The outside calls us
Venture to the wilderness
Sit under tall trees

Sit under tall trees
Smell the redwood canopy
Aspire to growth

You were born to live
In this century, sublime
Make the most of time

Frightened little girl,
Please step out of the shadows.
Won’t you take my hand?

The music haunts me
Its beauty gives me the chills
A sad melody

A sad melody
Repeats in the background to
A sad memory

A sad memory
Reminisce the emotions
Why is it like this?

Why is it like this?
Must we always feel regret?
Stop reminding me.

Drifting through the sky,
I wonder if the balloon
ever gets lonely?

Too many dark clouds
Let all the rain come down and
Wash away my tears

Wish I could see you
Through fog and smoke that lingers
in my memory

Side by side, fearless
Fight this battle together
‘Til death do us part

Searching for the prize
In a maze of color swirls
I can’t find my feet

Awake, I will stay
Waiting for you to come home
When will that time come?

Can you heal my wounds?
Wrap them in gauze and cotton
Sing a lullaby

Do not be deceived
By my quiet “nonchalance”
I actually care

Life come to a close
Shut all the doors and windows
Nowhere to be found

Inside this cold world
With flurries of fake snowflakes
Trapped in a snow globe

Last night’s tornadoes
Uprooted the seeds of my
Everlasting love

Please stay by my side
Don’t run so far ahead that
I get left behind

Just an illusion
A trick of the light got me
Nobody is there

Flames lickety split
Wolfing up your dead remains
Fallen ashes, dust

Fallen ashes, dust
Charcoal glitter and red rust
Orange-yellow dusk

Orange-yellow dusk
Setting on the grand plateau
Shadows, they grow tall

Shadows, they grow tall
Shape-shifting like hand puppets
Dancing on the wall

Dancing on the wall
It’s a fun party for all
Masquerading ball

Broken and shattered
Mirror fragments still reflect
Polygons of light

A fork in the road
I search for a spoon instead
So I can drink soup

We all have a path
Paved or rocky, winds and turns,
Life is a journey

I prefer the woods
Fresh smell of bark and damp leaves
Evergreen forest

To a lovely place
Lush meadows and fresh clean air
Feel the summer’s breeze

Color fills my eyes
I blink back the memories
It was just a dream

It’s real and it hurts
These pin pricks and needles stab
When will the pain stop?

When will the pain stop?
I bleed and bleed and bleed and
Bleed and bleed and bleed

The forest trees smile
As we walk past their trunks’ roots
Branches wave goodbye

Fly free, brave spirit
Don’t get tied up with my lies
Go. Leave me behind.

Flight of fancy due
Sprinkling glitter over you
Watch the skies change hue

If only there’s light
It’d be much easier to
get through the dark night

Smaller than a fly
Curl up in a tiny ball
Underneath the desk

Do not be afraid
Of the demons within you
Just learn to be friends

Find it in your heart
That fire, that spark, that passion
What do you desire?

What I truly want
Can’t be bought with metal gold
Strings of diamond, pearl

Strings of diamond, pearl
Sparkle in the deep red hues
Of the setting sun

Eye don’t know at all
Everything’s invisible
Hidden in the dark

See the light of day
peep over the horizon
Scared to say hello

Ice burns far too hot
Ringing sound others hear not
When will this all stop?

Leaving just a hole
Like a groundhog burrowing
In my aching chest

Haikus – March 2015

Shuffle and repeat
Jack of hearts and ace of spades
Winning the jackpot

Everything comes with
Salt and sugar, good and bad
So stop your crying

Peeling onions
Stripping away the layers
Tearing at my heart

Let my thoughts be free
Don’t want to think anymore
Someone else take them

Don’t go, don’t go, stay
If only for a minute
Sit with me in rain

My heart beats, thunder
These speakers burst asunder
Blacked out, no power

Move towards the light
Attracted to the stained glass
Mesmerizing hues

Too long waiting, rest
while your heart begins to rust
Collecting fine dust

Of dew-drenched grasses
Waking up in the morning
Teardrops glistening

Or heavy, with rain
Can’t hold back the dark gray clouds
Release your sorrows

I am satisfied
with everything, except for
your hypocrisy

Alright already
You beat the topic to death
I must be broken

Sun-baked lost remains
Egyptian memoirs of time
Digging in the sand

I now know solace
Stay underground and unknown
Just leave me alone

I know… but I try
to pretend that I don’t know
Feigning innocence

Without the borders
It becomes a bloody raid
Massive free-for-all

Slow down, please stop me…
Stand frozen, deer in headlights
Paralyzing glare

Hiding deep within
Gremlins of the Black Woods laugh
Hysterically

She said, “find your feet.”
But what if I am a fish?
Glide underwater.

Needless worrying
Biting my lips, nervous glance
At the ticking clock

The water is hot
Wait for it to boil over
Before prepping tea

To shrieking silence
I give a praiseworthy toast
Drink up every sound

When will this relent?
Intense desire to repent.
Myself, I resent.

With you by my side,
I can’t run away and hide.
Battle the high tide.

Garbage in and out
That’s what my soul’s all about
Not a single doubt

Your’s are just as blind
to the chaos in my mind.
Hidden. Don’t come find.

My soul, desolate.
Searching for what has been lost.
I won’t forget you.

To find my center
Balancing expectations
Don’t tip it over

It went up in smoke.
Hope someone sees my signal.
Save me. Anyone?

Haikus – February 2015

And all will be well.
Promise me you’ll never tell.
Really it’s quite swell.

Dress your crackers well.
Does this cheese make me look fat?
Wine accessories.

Before time is up
Fill my glass up to the brim
Drown in desert sands

I sink, feel too low.
Buried alive in my mind.
Engulfed by sorrow.

To live or not to live?
Hamlet soliloquizes,
That is the question.

The world will go on
dancing in circles around
the center spotlight

I wear it’s bruises
Like proud tattoos, inked on my
Invisible soul

Sunshine isn’t real.
If light does not exist then
Neither does darkness.

The tea party’s done!
I’ll wash the porcelain china.
Come again next week!

Let’s take baby steps
My heart is a heavy weight
Can’t walk one more step

A trap in my mind
You’d think I would know where I
dug out a huge hole

Inside my bear cave:
Shelves of honey and TV!
Never going out.

Why can’t I be done?
Mountains and piles of paper
Never-ending work…

I should be gone now
Carried away by the wind
Dandelion seeds

Oh no I must sneeze
They must be talking ’bout me
without my knowledge.

They think they know me.
Graphs, data, charts –can’t predict
hearts put to the test.

I blow with the wind
Swaying gently, leaves weeping
Peaceful willow tree

Like a wilted flower
With no shoulder to lean on
Look up to the sun

Every bomb combined
Bursts into colorful lights
Fireworks in my heart

I choose to remain
Silent about my pain so
I can’t hear myself

Warmth shuts out the cold
Heart shuts out the pain and shame
Pretend to not see

Pretend to not see.
Oh, I didn’t see you there!
Of course you didn’t.

Of course you didn’t
You just shut your mouth and nod
Ever so polite

Ever so polite
Never showing fits of rage
Let it die inside

Let it die inside
Don’t blow on the smoldering
coals that burn my soul

Of my emotions
Only one of them makes sense
Sad disappointment

I made a mistake
Repent but never forgive
My guilty conscience

Afraid of dreaming
Of the unknown mists, floating
Like a will o’ wisp

No one will listen
Except for the walls, echo
Can you hear my calls?

Lather, rinse, repeat
Drone on forever nonstop
When can I end this?

I must, they tell me
For their sake, not of my own.
They’re scared of alone

Crawl back to my cave
Give me a haven from my
Torturous demise

Cascade from above
Flood over clouds, spill the light
Droplets of pure gold

We shall love others
Even when it’s time to go
Love can transcend time

Running through my mind
Brambles catch my sleeves and scarf
Get me out these woods

Please let that be me
Up in the sky, free from this
thing called gravity

Haikus – January 2015

Why am I still here?
It’s not that I don’t love you,
why can’t you see that?

Swirling around me
Pristine crystallized snowflakes
Twinkle in the light

Sun always rising
Float like a multi-colored
Helium balloon

Where we all will drown
Sink in eternal slumber
Nowhere to be found

About to be tossed
Drizzle on creamy dressing
Fresh ingredients

Lush vegetation
Let me be a vegetable
On your dinner plate

Nobody loves me
They all secretly hate me
Even my own self

Now I can’t get out!
Locked myself away without
The key to escape

I’m not allowed out…
Beyond these castle walls what
dangers could await?

Stranded at life’s door
Don’t care what miseries come
Not in rain nor shine

The darkest storm. Growl!
Digging graves with a trowel
Only the winds howl

Down the drain I go
Flushed out of all energy
Going who knows where

The empty within
Gaping black hole of nothing
Fill it up with dirt

Watch them as they grow
Older and more beautiful
Never let them fall

Crush not their spirit
But their insolent ideas
Of self-righteousness

Follow all the way
Until the path diverges
Which one will you take?

The map of sadness
Sprawled open on the table
Pinpoints my sorrow

I need a rocket
Launch my heart into the sky
Who knows where it lands

Fly away tonight
Rising in the midnight sky
Floating lanterns bright

Illumination
Fills up the gourds in your eyes
Twinkling with tears

Just watch, wait and see.
I can be everything you
wanted me to be.

A nightmare in realm
Wander ’round this clouded maze
Exit from the haze

Not dead, but breathing.
Fresh air, spring waters, sun: please,
bring me back to life.

This lost little girl
Skips to the end of the road
Chasing fields of gold

A hug can change things
Laughter is a currency
Exchange one with me

Nothing can stop you
from what is pre-destiny
Roll the lucky dice

Starting a new thread
of woven poetic prose.
Pause to smell the rose.

I made lemonade
from the lemons thrown at me.
Would you like sugar?

Always reach for light
Seeping through my fingertips
Warmth bursts with color

Only shades of grey
Cover up the windows! Quick!
Draw the curtains shut.

By the blue waters
I spot the tail of a whale
Waving “Hello there!”

Just more of the same
Can you make something that’s not
just PB&J?

Soothing my headache
Aromatherapy knows not
How to heal heartache

Until then, hold on.
Hold on, I didn’t catch that.
What was it you said?

Been shot in the face
Fragments splinter and dissolve
You can’t hide that mask

Move on now, let go.
Dropping fast, gravity pulls.
Some things fall apart.

I disappear now.
The one ring to rule them all
has sh!tty powers.

Should have never come
This party makes me anxious
The cake is a lie

Nothing’s beautiful
It’s subjective attraction
That defines beauty

Haikus – December 2014

Gone away, faraway
Fireworks in the air, colors
Flash and disappear

Remembering home
Since when did this place become
Like a prison cell?

Like wind above clouds
White-feathered wings whisper with
Graceful floating dance

You don’t disappoint
Waited for you to light up
Our secret garden

Attune with each soul
We fly together like a
Sky of fireflies

Was here, now you’re not.
The water’s edge only shows
A lone reflection

No friends IRL
Lurking on the inter-webs
Hiding behind screens

I don’t need to comb
The web of lies you’ve tangled
Wither to the ground

This is depression
Until it is time to leave,
Would you lie with me?

You never knew how
To tame this mythical beast’s
Majestic prowess

Blindly shield themselves
Reflexes kick into gear
Flash and bang! It’s gone.

Awe, laser light shows
DJ drops the beat, wub, wub
This house is pumping

Revive me! Some one!
Won’t you say the magic words?
Give me one more chance?

The stars are shining
If I am named after stars,
Then why don’t I shine?

Wrapping a warm hug,
It doesn’t fit in the box!
My love for you bursts~

The same old mistakes
The same–ame old mis–mistakes
A broken record